IS YOUR MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP TRULY HAPPY ?

Failure is only a stepping stone to success if one learns from one's mistakes. 

Tough lessons learned in life are “better learned late than never”! This is often what life's journey is about and what makes one’s life, when looking back (even at a late stage), worthwhile.

It is a generally accepted fact that it takes “two to tango” and that fault is seldom entirely one-sided. After failed previous marriages I have discovered and learned the “key” and essential ingredients that make for a successful marriage and I would like to share these essential ingredients on my blogsite for the benefit of young and old alike.  In today’s fast moving, materialistic and “throw-away” world far too many marriages are ending up on the rocks.

Although it is sometimes said that the first 7 years of any marriage are the most important for laying a foundation for success, I know of many couples who have stayed together (unhappily married) only until their children have grown up and then - some 25 or more years later - decided to separate or get divorced.

A few years ago my son introduced me to an absolutely amazing and incredible series of books, written by Dr Gary Chapman, that I would strongly recommend and urge every couple whose marriage (or relationship) is not “100% happy”  to  read. Gary Chapman is the author of the best-selling “5 Love Languages” series and the director of “Marriage and Family Life Consultants”. He has written special editions for men and for women and travels the world presenting seminars and his radio programmes are aired on more than 250 stations. I found “The 5 Love Languages (Men's’ Edition)” particularly useful for me.  The 5 Love Languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch.

A “Golden-Thread” that I believe represents a pearl of great wisdom for men and women alike is to understand what Gary Chapman calls “The Secret to Love that Lasts” and to realise that every human being has his/her own unique “love language” and if one partner does not or cannot recognise and understand this - and act and respond appropriately - no marriage can continue to be happy and, over time, will deteriorate and eventually fail. The bottom line is open and honest communication between spouses (partners) and to be able to respect and trust one another and to have a mutual commitment to wanting the relationship to be happy and to last.

Gary Chapman teaches precisely what words and actions mean most to one’s partner and what each partner wants most from the other. Discovering one’s own and one’s partner’s love language/s is an essential step to understand and learn exactly how to respond and act every day of one’s life together.

I have little doubt that had I encountered Gary Chapman’s book many years ago my marriage record would have been completely different. I highly recommend Gary Chapman’s advice. You can only have a truly successful marriage and be truly happy if your partner also is.Take it from someone who has learned some tough lessons in life the hard way but better late than never.

-       Guy Macleod